Who is this Kjohn anyway?
I was born in Essex in 1977 but to avoid stereotypes of driving around in white vans and waving hand fulls of dosh in peoples faces I never admit to this fact publicly. As far as most people are concerned I was born in Herts and lived there most of my life along with lots of other gossipy middle class people.
I went to Catholic primary and secondary schools. The former was rather like the pit of hell and after our tormented souls were released we went on to the latter which was our very own Valhalla. At school I liked acting and according to legend I was the “only one who could do the knee thing.” (More on this later). I briefly ran a Doctor Who fan club and magazine as well as hosting a celebrity convention. I did it for the notoriety and the chance to hob nob with BBC types until the anoraks revolted against me and banished me to the normal world once again.
I support Everton for no particular reason other than a priest from Liverpool who used to say Masses at my school told me I should when I was 7. The sad thing is that since I turned 8 Everton have been bloody awful.
I spent my teenage years investigating the paranormal with my mates. We had a few close encounters with ghosts, poltergheists and UFOs. Things got a bit out of hand a Uni in Manchester when a poltergheist took up residence in my block. Apparently it had something to do with Satanic activity in the cellar but either it was enough to prompt me to get a $25million transfer back down south to Kings College.
I took some time out to work for a corp. where fringe benefits included limitless quantities of Guinness and Vodka. I bummed around Eastern Europe more than once and finally decided to follow the advice of the Pet Shop Boys and “Go West.” After landing stateside I married a yank. We lived for 2 years in Alabama. I enjoyed that about as much as taking a dip in a swimming pool infested with Jellyfish and electric eels. Florida was our next stop and with a newly born daughter in toe we started a new life in spitting distance of Disneyworld. I haven’t actually tested out my ability to spit that far because I actually like Disneyworld and it would annoy me if I were there and someones saliva struck my face because some English idiot was trying to demonstrate how close by he lived but you get the idea anyway.
When I was in college like many of my peers I had a few issues with the bank. Thereafter I decided that if you can’t beat them you should join them. I crossed over to the dark side in 2002. I always wanted to be like Mr Banks in Mary Poppins. Actually I would have preferred to be like Bert the Chimney sweep but the climate in Florida doesn’t call for lots of coal burning so I took the next best thing.
Basically on this blog I will talk about things past and present some public knowlegde and some private. You’ll come across some characters on here who pop up more than once and these are the people either good folk or evil doers who have made my life interesting. If you know me and you’re not on here then try harder not to send me to sleep next time we meet. Don’t make that face Martin. Anyway be prepared for topical incisive comment on all things from a free speaker and individual who needs an outlet after a tedious day of banking.